Eriistrations

Thank you very much to the sneaky anonymous person for giving me Core Membership for a month, that's really thoughtful of you ;;; I've really wanted to change my username should I ever been given the chance, so it's super appreciated!

I hope the name change isn't too jarring. I've wanted my user to incorporate my online alias for a while now, but the name by itself was taken, so I mixed it with the word Illustrations, since that's what I prefer to post here!

Have a great day, everyone! (Also happy birthday to my super cool best bud Pypixy you should go drop him some birthday wishes heheheheh)

Hey, DeviantArt? It'd be really cool if you didn't pool everyone's work into AI permissions without even alerting us of this. Nor even asked.

Not to mention we have to opt out of it one piece at a time?

Shame on you. This is not how you run a website. None of this is user-friendly in the slightest. This is not for the benefit of artists, either. It is simply for the benefit of people who can't be bothered to putting any effort into learning how to create themselves.

Sometimes I wonder why I even bother staying here.

**EDIT** There should have been an "opt out all Deviations" button in the first place. It's not even implemented yet, but my wrist is already irritated from editing over 2/3s of my gallery. Please do better, guys.

It's been a tough summer for me. Admittedly, I should have talked about it on here too, but it was easier doing it in other places where I can make a quick post.

As a warning, this journal refers to animal death, so if that's something triggering for you, please don't read ahead. It doesn't go into detail or anything, but pertains to the subject.

Tomorrow marks about 3 months since Spencer, my pet rabbit, passed away. Throughout that timeframe, I've been processing all of these emotions and struggling to fully accept his passing. Being quite the superstitious sort, I know he's here in spirit, and he's giving me signs and all other sorts of reassurances, but it's still been hard. I still miss what we had, and know I won't be able to have it for a long, long time. I don't think I'll have the heart to adopt another for a while, either.

There's been a lot of pain. A lot of regret, of wishing I could have done better, despite doing my very best. He's lived a long 12 1/2 years, so I don't understand why I had and partially continue to have these feelings - vaguely, in the back of my head. I've done so much for him that most caretakers wouldn't. I should be proud of myself, but the end instilled these horrible things into me.

Fortunately, I am getting better. Little by little. While I have been questioning how anyone else can carry on when faced with the loss of someone so close, I'm starting to see it. Time really is necessary to heal, even if things will never be the same. I've been getting my passion for things back, knowing not only he would support me, but those who love me right here.

Of course, I still have my moments. And there will be more. But I am going to move forward as best as I can. Dealing with this depression is partially the reason why I haven't been up to posting more here, since I have done pieces for Art Fight that I could share. It'll depend on when I have the time to sit down and do it, though.

Thanks to anyone who reads this through. I just needed to get my thoughts out, really. Happy 21st night of September, if it still is that day for you. (Gotta keep it a bit light, eh?)

Wanna know what's funnier than turning 24?

... turning 25.

Hm! Don't like this